9 Reasons To Wear A Mask So Everyone Can Just Shut The F*ck Up Already!

Disgruntled Author’s Note: I know, I know — how is this still a debate? You’d think this piece would be irrelevant by now (evergreen much?), but thanks to a select group of fucking fuckfaces out there, we are still going at it.

1) My children are the reason why I get out of bed every day. Not because they’re my reason for living, but because I don’t want to be dragged out of my house by Child Protective Services. These tiny beasts demand every Cheez-it, Pringle and apple slice I put in my mouth. However…